Where's My Medal?

I have played these scenes out
in my head
so many times
lived through all of
the possible Armageddons
that you could dream up
and now I sit along in my chair
feeling like a disabled war vet
stoned
just so I can
stay alive
to keep myself
from going through
another
nuclear bomb
my thoughts
are consumed
by the grim pictures
they have painted
of our future
as a society
and we allow it
we
ask for more
more media
more drama
more rape
more
trauma
yet reject the truth
about
what we've become
turn our heads
in hopes that no one notices
no one
points us out
as being
different
problematic
manipulative
brain washing
fuck like them
this machine that feeds
off of greed
while we
die in the streets
where is my medal of honor
my star of bravery
for trying to live my life
outside of this slavery

You're damn right I've got a chip on my shoulder
everyone does now and then
but I won't apologize for letting you know
the pain I have been through
the muddy waters of lost dreams
and sorrow that I have crossed
The blunt forces of trauma's to the heart
that I've felt
everytime someone has kept me
apart
from the rest of this world
made me watch from the window
while everyone else
laughed and drank
sang songs and gave thanks
to this God
for the blessings that they've had
and I
I pleaded just to understand
why I had to have a junky for a mom
and a
sociopath for a dad
Where is my medal?
Or my gold star
on the chart
in the sky
simply because despite it all
I'm still alive.