How Can I Be Jolly?

How can I be jolly
when the photographs in my mind
aren't of cheesy poses under mistletoe
taken by family members who pinch cheeks
but rather those of a disposable kind
the kind you throw away by burying deep in your mind

We didn't have turkey
we didn't have cranberry sauce
we didn't have stuffing
or gifts
or homes that smelled like fresh cut pine trees

The only thing I unwrapped
were small boxes of 20
machine rolled cigarettes
under empty street lights
drinking the beer I got
from the dirty old man at the seven eleven
while he felt me up
and I looked through the windows of society
cursing the existence of
greeting card companies.