Hope(less)

What do you do
when you feel like
all hope is gone?

Throw your hands up
and walk away
but how far can you walk
before
you lose yourself?

Where is the reset button
Just give me one more try
There's got to be a way
to do this one over
I've got to try

It's sad
when the thing you look
forward to most
is the day
that you become a ghost

How will you be remembered
Will you be at all
Will you fly high
or will you fall far?

There's got to be a way
I know it exists
To change your life
when it's going like this.

What kind of place do we live in
when people are suffering
and the only one's who seem to care
are the ones who are already there

This hell on Earth
all I can do is pray
that sooner or later
I will find my way.

Because I'm such an optimist.

I would love to say
that I am an intellectual
born into this world
to two parents who worked dilligently
to support me
and showered me with love
until I walked with ease
into my college dormitory
where I found my own religion
just after discovering the voices
of poets passed
But I have nothing more to report
other than that I
was born into the world
to two parents who worked diligently
to make each other's lives hell
thereby making mine worse
I was showered with obscenities and
insecurities
until I was pushed out into a cold
and unforgivably unaccepting world
where I found my own religion
at the bottom of a pill bottle
just after the voices
in my head said
that from the moment I was born
I have been dead.

obsessions

Obsessions are
romantic notions
that I am so important
that I might diet a death
which will leave me immortal

Headlines read
"Amazing soul, tragically lost
to debris of space dust which came crashing through
three stories of a building
only to pierce the skull of victim."

Obsessions are
romantic notions that time marches
ahead just to torture me
while eluding the rest of societies "normal folks".

Although I do no identify with the part of humanity
that can be unremarkably selfish, shallow, and egotystical
my obsessions are what make me just that.

Obsessions are unromantic and unapologetic
the kidnappers and rapists that invade and poke,
and prod
and tease
and torture
while holding me captive in the basement of this life
without the allowance of milk carton pictures
and search parties

Obsessions fill each pore
each cell
each drop of water
flowing through the
anxious veins and arthritic hands
which type relentlessly on calloused fingers
at 2 am with this drunkenly insomniatic mind of mine

Another One Bites The Dust

Goodbye Billy Mays!


Billy Mays, the voice and energetic spokesperson of products such as oxy clean and orange glow has passed away.

They say it comes in 3's but in the last 2 months we've lost more than that...
Bea Arthur (Thank you for being our friend!)

David Carradine (Among many many other things, thanks for giving us Kill Bill)
Ed Mc Mahon (Heeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!)
Farrah Fawcett (Forever our angel!)
Michael Jackson (King of pop!)
Danny Gans (Among Vegas' finest!)
and now Billy Mays!

While there is an autopsy planned to explain his sudden passing, the circumstances surrounding his death logically (to me) point to a concussion. Mays was on a plane that had a bumpy landing and fell victim to head trauma. He told his wife he wasn't feeling well and went to sleep and unfortunately never woke up again.

What is going on around here? The sudden rise in celebrity deaths is causing me to have serious anxiety issues. While I know that people die daily I guess the sudden constant reminder has been too much to bear. It doesn't help that 30 went from being the new 20 to the new 50 when I realized that there isn't much space between 30 and 60 much less 30 and 50.
Although it's inevitable that we will all go, please everyone stay safe and know that you are all on my mind!

2 in 1 week.

This week has been a fairly tragic week in the celebrity world. We've lost two icons. Earlier this week we had to say goodbye to Johnny Carson's sidekick or for those of us who grew up in the 80's the host of Star Search Ed Mc mahon.

and today I am sorry to say that we must now say goodbye to the beautiful Farrah Fawcett!

May they both find peace in the world that lies on the other side and their families find comfort in knowing what both of these stars touched many lives during their time here on Earth.