I'm not....ok?

If time heals all
then why is it that I'm still walking around
with this broken heart?

I've had it since the start
when she PUSHED me out
and he threw me away

If time heals all
then why is it that I'm still in pain
each and every day
as I
try to find my way

I can no longer pretend to be ok
some body has taken my drugs away
no body is giving me hugs today

I'm not ok
I'm not....
Ok?

I thought life was supposed to be fun!

There used to be so many people
I could call
talk to
run to
When I needed a friend
Yet here I sit
alone,
amidst the night
Just me & the moon
though somehow
I doubt that he cares
whether or not
I'm alright
The TV talks, begs, fights
in the distance for my attention
But all I can think about
is the voice in my head that I forgot to mention
It keeps me up
These days
Any days,
That I'm in a rut
Makes me feel like I'm some kind of nut
I'm too old to numb myself
with high school drugs
Too young to be done
I thought life was supposed to be fun?

Hope(less)

What do you do
when you feel like
all hope is gone?

Throw your hands up
and walk away
but how far can you walk
before
you lose yourself?

Where is the reset button
Just give me one more try
There's got to be a way
to do this one over
I've got to try

It's sad
when the thing you look
forward to most
is the day
that you become a ghost

How will you be remembered
Will you be at all
Will you fly high
or will you fall far?

There's got to be a way
I know it exists
To change your life
when it's going like this.

What kind of place do we live in
when people are suffering
and the only one's who seem to care
are the ones who are already there

This hell on Earth
all I can do is pray
that sooner or later
I will find my way.

Because I'm such an optimist.

I would love to say
that I am an intellectual
born into this world
to two parents who worked dilligently
to support me
and showered me with love
until I walked with ease
into my college dormitory
where I found my own religion
just after discovering the voices
of poets passed
But I have nothing more to report
other than that I
was born into the world
to two parents who worked diligently
to make each other's lives hell
thereby making mine worse
I was showered with obscenities and
insecurities
until I was pushed out into a cold
and unforgivably unaccepting world
where I found my own religion
at the bottom of a pill bottle
just after the voices
in my head said
that from the moment I was born
I have been dead.